Friday, 8 April 2011

Has Nick Clegg cracked up?

Two statements this week from "our nation's" Deputy Prime minister have left me seriously worried that he may actually be suffering from a depressive illness.  In recent emotional interviews Nick has confessed to blubbing like a wuss when listening to music and has begged the public not to view him as "punch bag".  As a person who has suffered from mental illness most of his adult life in the form of bi-polar disorder 1, I can confirm that weeping uncontrollably is an early sign that your mind is about to give out in some horrific messy breakdown, for example during the 1994 World Cup final I cried like a baby purely because it was so shit, no other reason, a few weeks later I was a gibbering wreck dribbling into my tea and thinking I was married to my guitar.   Begging for approval is also a sign that he needs reassurance, he feels unloved and sad, he feels the sting of criticism when his 9 year old child tearful asks him "why are the students angry with you papa ", his confidence is slipping, classic depression.    He has also shown signs of delusional behavior kidding himself that he has never used family influence to get a job when actually his dad had pulled a few strings to get him an internship way back, his delusions go even further by thinking that it is possible to improve social mobility in a nation run by un-feeling psychopathic toss pots who all got to where they are by pulling as many strings as they can get their mits on.  The real test of course for depression is the BDI or Beck Depression Inventory a standard test to see how ill you are consisting of a series of mood questions.  In a very general summary the questions are thus ( From recent statements I have filled in Nick's answers for him).

1) Do you feel Sad ? - Yes, I cry for no reason
2) Do you feel pessimistic? - Yes.
3) Do you feel like a failure? - What do mean, I am a failure.
4) Do you feel dissatisfied? - Sometimes.
5) Do you feel gulity? - (You bloody well should Nick)
6) Do you care about people anymore? - No I am working with a large group of people that lack any degree of human empathy.
7) Do you think about harming yourself? - I have hurt myself anyway I am working with the Tory's.
8) Do you feel ugly - Yes all the those ministerial dinners have made my face look like Jeremy Clarksons scrotum.
9) Do you feel its hard to make decisions? Clearly my decision making processes are flawed.
10) Has your appetite changed ? (see answer 8).

I suggest that action is needed urgently, Nick should step down for health reasons and let another Lib Dem take over as leader.  I suggest someone like that nice Mr Chris Huhne or anyone who is a member of the Beveridge Group who might , please god might, stop supporting the bloody Tories.

To finish a cat that looks like Lenin.

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