Deeply unreliable NEWS source AOL online has this morning reported that sources close to an unnamed Catholic cardinal have confirmed that idiotic despotic nut job Colonel "wheres me marbles" Gaddafi is in fact the bastard love child of a Jewish women and an Italian soldier, adopted by nomadic Arabs at the invitation of the aforementioned leading left footer. This is of course about as likely as my gerbil becoming Prime Minister.
Call me cynical but this stinks just a little bit like a classic intelligence plant, causing dissension through rumour and subterfuge, winding up the situation through the manipulation of the press. As I am sure we are all aware some of our Arab brothers are not so enthusiastic about Jewish people and I would imagine this story might be a little encouragement to those around Mr Gaddafi to give him the boot on the grounds that he is a secret Zionist or something. AOL in the past has been accused of "close links" to the government of the USA and its intelligence community, a rumour if true meaning that the leading Western intelligence community is reliant on a technology so outdated that it might as well be running on an elastic band. (AOL of course is just plain crap and has the tendency to take over every operation running on your computer like a hideous virus, the call centres will keep you waiting for up to 2 hours and when you do get through they always, and I mean always, tell you the cure for your problems is to turn your router off and on again. )
Although this story sounds like a good tale the real truth is far more incredible and here for the first time I can reveal the facts to the public. Colonel Gaddafi is in fact the love child of a Cornish pasty farmer from Nanjizal and a Dutch opium smuggler. Flown by hot air balloon into the Libyan desert in 1968, Gaddafi rose to prominence through the creation and widespread use of muslamic rayguns. Wishing to disguise his obviously Celtic features he regularly superglues his face flaps to his ears and dyes his ginger hair dark brown. And if you believe that you will believe anything.
Changing the subject , tittle tattle on the granite grapevine reveals that all is not well at County Hall. Apparently Tory backbenchers are "revolting" against the Cornwall Council leadership demanding the sacking of 2 members of the cabinet and "the return of biscuits to the scrutiny committee. If they don't get their way a leadership contest is promised and the possible unlawful smuggling of custard creams into the committee rooms. Enter Youtube user cornishminer1 who produces yet another satirical skit using a scene from Hitler movie downfall. (With thanks to Cllr Jeremy Rowe from Wadebridge for flagging this up, a Councillor with a sense of humour is rare thing). Watch for the end when a call from Norman Baker MP is received.....