Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Government raises terror level to puce.

With the death of mass murdering Arsenal supporting git Osama Bin Laden the government have raised the national security level from shocking pink to puce.  This upgrade is a clear indication that scores of burkha wearing muslamic suicide bombers will be roaming the countryside looking for targets at random, leaping like enraged goats into the paths of school buses, shitting on the door steps of local councils and generally
bringing the nation to its knees.  I for one am crapping my self at thought of an attack on local businesses, perhaps even the Rowe's pasty shop in Causewayhead, just imagine the carnage as the Reggae Reggae chicken pasties are ejected in an explosion, decapitating the local tramps and hobbling sick claimants as they walk to down the street, oh the humanity! Local coppers powers will now be extended to allow the shooting on site of people of slightly suspicious appearance and permission to use flame throwers on anti social behaviour enthusiasts gathering outside the towns numerous dodgy kebab joints after 11pm.

Meanwhile in the Pakistani town of Abbottabad the locals are enjoying the unlikely limelight, including one 10 year old boy who told SKY news of the gift of two black and white bunnies given to him by the World's most wanted man who have now been taken out the back and whacked across the neck with the shovel as possible members of the Pakistan Taliban.  Osama Bin Laden of course who lived at number 22 Baka Laka Daka Street (see Team America World Police) has been wanted since 1994 by the USA who should have really checked Google Maps as this search will reveal, you see lads it was marked on Google maps all along I bet you feel foolish now.

To finish Bin Laden in a blender,

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