former Nazi supporters The Daily Mail report today that "just a little belly fat increases you risk of heart disease" adding to their increasingly long list of things that will kill you stone dead if you shove them down your face or have them on your body. As people will be aware the Daily Mail loves a good health scare or moral panic to satisfy the distrust and paranoia of their readers. Recent scares have included, milk at bedtime, blowing your nose, sex, facebook, twitter and corsets. For those who don't understand life and death I will introduce you to a very basic premise of existence, we all friggin die, in fact we all are destined to be broken down into a sub atomic particles, its the called the second law of thermodynamics people. While health research is invaluable to our species, quoting some half baked theory about blueberry's giving you willy cancer or facebook rotting your face is pointless scaremongering designed to control people.
Actually I hate the Mail more than any other publication that has ever been. I hate it so much I could scream my head off every time I see it in the Newsagents. I hate its lies, its Tory Propoganda, its thinly veiled racism oh I could go on..........
As Hugh Laurie once said "I've always been a Daily Mail reader. I prefer it to a newspaper."
For the record here is my guide to real world for Mail readers
1) The EU is a bloated, semi democratic, flawed institution but it has never recommended that we call our sausages "High Fat Low Protein Offal Tubes".
2) Princess Diana was not a Saint.
3) Animal cruelty is not the norm in British Society, despite what the Mail thinks working class people do not spend all day beating their gerbils to within an inch of their life.
4) Britain is not crawling with Asylum seekers, and for the record without Polish people the entire economy of the UK would grind to a halt.
5) Blowing your nose after drinking coffee will not dislodge your eye balls.
6) While we all may have enjoyed Pippa Middleton's arse at the Royal Wedding it is not a suitable subject for a 2 page spread criticising her for upstaging the bride.
7) Peter Hitchens should not be unleashed on humanity, ever.
8) Likewise Richard Littlejohn.
9) Gay people are not strange and lonely, and it is not remotely acceptable to say so.
10) And lastly and most importantly, science is fact not a religious option.
To finish the Daily Cancer Mail song.