Friday, 14 September 2012

Norkageddon

Now, its not very nice to sneak up on a woman on holiday, miles from anywhere, and take a picture of her "love dumplings" without permission.  If I was the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge I would be just a little bit pissed off that some enterprising pap had managed to hack into a private estate and get close enough to get a close up of her "chapel hat pegs".  But you know what it ain't front page news. While the entire fundamentalist Islamic world are confusing Youtube with the American government and killing anything western for jollies, grizzly murders with hidden sub texts are going down and god knows what else is, the BBC et al have decided that we must care about the publication of pictures of HRH's "Duelling banjos".

The headlines and commentary has been extraordinary, "For God's sake in France!!!!!!" yelled an anonymous Royal writer on BBC news "That is where his mother died" (which is one of the stupidest things ever uttered to be honest), "They have crossed a red line" bawled a palace spokesman, somehow suggesting that a red line somehow is more serious than black one.  The papers have been no better with fuming outrage spewing from its front pages calling on the spirit of Trafalgar to crush our insolent froggy neighbours.  The Daily Mirror described the happy couple as being "grim faced" as the weight of the "wab" scandal was starting to grind them down.  Meanwhile in Paris, the editor of Closer magazine, the offending filth ridden gossip rag, stood resolutely by her decision to publish pictures of Kates "tatas", ."We did it so Harry won't feel alone" she said, her leathery, beaten up, cigarette ravaged face showing the obvious signs of lying.

In the interest of public scrutiny I decided to investigate these pictures personally and had a look at the closermag.fr website and low and behold, it was crashing under the weight of a curious public's interest.  Luckily some enterprising scamp had uploaded to the front cover with full "norkage" on display.

Both men and women have had experiences with the opposite sex that go like this.  You meet a new partner and after an appropriate period you find your self in an amorous situation and start to unpeel the garments of the one you desire. In the case of gentleman it is often the case that you particularly look forward to the first unveiling of the "bristols".  Sadly thanks to modern technology the "bappage area" is often enhanced by the use of padding and the like, and when eventually the garment does drop a gentleman's reaction can sometimes be like the kid at Christmas who asked for a bike and got an orange.  Saying loudly "oh that's a shame" is not recommended.  This is exactly the reaction when you get a view of HRH's "rack".

In summary - not headline news and not worth looking at.  To save you all the trouble here is the picture in question.


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